Father had sex with daughter while wife was in the dark

ONE culprit is her husband, the other is her daughter.

For two years, they kept a deep, dark secret from her: They had consensual sex one night in April 2008.

The daughter, then 20, hid the truth from her mother until the day after her father skipped town to escape being charged with incest.

That was in March 2010, and a warrant of arrest was subsequently issued.

The man, a 48-year-old plumber, was eventually caught on Oct 21 that same year, when he tried to re-enter Singapore.

He was charged accordingly and jailed for three years on Jan 31 last year.

Yesterday, the woman, now 24, was sentenced to one year of probation.

She was also ordered to attend therapy sessions with a psychiatrist.

She is believed to be the first woman to be convicted of incest in Singapore.

In mitigation, the woman's lawyer, Mr S. S. Dhillon, told the court last November that as a girl, she saw her father hitting her mother and having an affair with the domestic helper.

He asked the court to be lenient on the grounds that the woman had a traumatic childhood.

All three cannot be named as there is a court order against identifying them.

Breaking her silence for the first time yesterday, the mother, Madam Jane (not her real name), 44, told The New Paper she was preparing to go to work when her daughter dropped the bombshell.

The coffee-shop assistant said: "She was packing up her clothes and I asked her what happened.

"She told me that her father raped her.

"They lied to me for two years. I suspected there was something wrong with their relationship, but they wouldn't say anything when I asked.

"I went to work, and as I cleaned the toilet, I cried."

Even though Madam Jane later found out that her daughter wasn't raped but had consensual sex with her husband, it did nothing to change her mind about who was at fault.

She said: "I still see it as rape. As her father, he should know that he cannot do this to his child."

The woman is the eldest of her four children. Madam Jane has another daughter and two sons.

This particular daughter had shared a close relationship with her father.

But after their illicit relationship came to light, the woman moved out of the flat to live elsewhere.

Madam Jane said she supported her daughter's decision to move out.

She said: "My daughter told me she wanted to leave because this home is not a home.

"She has been living with friends and family for more than a year, but she still calls me occasionally and visits me once in a while. She will spend Mother's Day with me, too.

"She is living somewhere safe now. It is also closer to her workplace."

Madam Jane felt that it was also good for her daughter to leave the place where the sordid incident happened.

She added: "The memory is here and, after all, it happened here. If she continues living here, she will be reminded of the unpleasant things that happened."

The woman had moved to her maternal grandmother's place when court hearings began, but moved out when someone allegedly splashed paint on the front door.

The culprits also wrote her full name and mobile phone number on a wall. Madam Jane and her family are still puzzled as to who had done that.

Now, the woman lives with another relative.

Madam Jane said she doesn't restrict her other children from interacting with their father.

Her other daughter and elder son live with her, while the younger son lives with his godfather.

Said Madam Jane: "The kids are big already. They can choose for themselves.

"My eldest daughter is still my child no matter what happens. Whether or not she chooses to see him as her father is not my problem.

"She was very good in her studies and she's very filial. It's a pity she has such a father."

Even though both father and daughter have been sentenced, Madam Jane still feels that she has to bear some responsibility for what happened.

She revealed that the daughter had once moved to a relative's place in 2003 after her father hit her.

She said: "He found out that she had picked up smoking and saw her wearing boy's clothing.

"She left home and I begged her to come home. If I hadn't, this wouldn't have happened.

"If she had told me immediately, maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

Madam Jane filed for divorce soon after she found out about the incest, and is now waiting for the man to sign documents that will transfer the ownership of their three-bedroom flat to their older son, 23.

She no longer wants anything to do with her ex-husband, who was introduced to her by her older sister.

She said: "I'm not angry. He is still my children's father, but that person has nothing to do with me any more.

"He caused our family to break up. He hurt and disappointed us. I've thrown away his clothes and our wedding photos.

"It is a tragedy, but it is his doing."

Now, Madam Jane spends her time either at work or at home with her dog. She goes on occasional shopping trips to Johor Baru.

This Chinese New Year, she said, the best blessing she received was a phone call from her daughter.

She added: "She told me that she is okay and that she just needs to follow some instructions from the judge.

"My birthday is coming soon and I know she will come home to celebrate it with me. I'm looking forward to that."

Since the incident, Madam Jane said she hasn't thought about what she would do if she met her estranged husband.

She said: "I haven't thought about it and I don't want to either."

- The New Paper